New Beginnings

New Year. New Life. New Chances. New Beginnings. 

Everybody is making a list of things and habits they want to leave from the past. The usual New Year's resolutions. I will be strict on my diet on this year to be sexy and meet some hot guys.  Well this a good New Year's resolution but I don't like it. It will be best if you work out try doing exercises for yourself, for your health and for self-love. Some people will have resolutions to make themselves better and improve and that is a good thing actually. The problem is they tend to do it to impress and be loved by other people, to fit in and feel belong. This is unhealthy. This is the start of insecurities and toxicity of life leading to mental and emotional issues.

Some finally decided to help themselves  and get their life together by starting to finally clean their place. The dirty bedrooms, messy clothes that are scattered everywhere, old habits dragging them down and even toxic relatioships with their lovers and friends. Some finally decided to escape and make an agreemet with theirselves to break free from the pressure their relatives are giving.  Being positive all throughout, to have a good career and travel all over the world. Those type of changes.

I guess everybody is doing it and I thought I should do it too. 

I was thinking that maybe I should try and slowly start to forgive myself for the things I regret in the past. To change the habits that did not help me improve but instead pushed me down. I am planning to be free and act what I think I love. I'd like to throw away all the inhibitions. I'd like to speak what's on my mind whenever I like to express what I feel. 

As the New Year starts I am slowly reminding myself to speak out all the composed answers in my head to actual conversations. I am reminding myself not to be anxious in every thing and to stop overthinking. I realize I've been doing and having all these shits and I am scared that days will passed but I am still in chains with these nightmares.